Administratium
From Brian Nicholson. (Apologies you ex-administrators!)
All Fools’ Day has come a little early at Harwell nuclear research station, where physicists claim to have discovered the heaviest element known to science – administratium. It has no protons or electrons and the atomic number is zero. What it does have is one neutron, eight assistant neutrons, 10 executive neutrons, 35 vice-neutrons and 256 assistant vice-neutrons. Completely inert, it can be detected chemically because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact…